Worrying and worrying are natural, especially when preparing to have sex for the first time. But excessive anxiety can disrupt the warmth of you both on the bed, it can even kill your sexual arousal. How can it be?
The effect of excessive anxiety actually decreases sexual desire
Sex should be a fun activity, strengthen inner bonds, and relieve stress. But whether it's normal anxiety or you have an officially diagnosed psychological problem such as an anxiety disorder, excessive anxiety will cool the heat of activity on the sheets.
"All types of anxiety can interfere with your sexual satisfaction," said Laurel Steinberg, PhD, a sex therapist and professor of psychology at Columbia University.
Here are various ways how excessive anxiety can affect your sex life:
1. Reducing libido
Excessive anxiety and unreasonable fears can cause the body to release large amounts of adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. The combination of both can make you feel more stressed, panic, and nervous. Excessive anxiety and panic can also make you experience hyperventilation which can cause panic attacks in the middle of a lovemaking session.
All of these negative effects work together to block the work of happy mood hormones and libido to stimulate arousal. If your body is unable to relax and enjoy sexual stimulation well, this can make it difficult for you to reach orgasm and feel sexual satisfaction.
2. Decreasing self-confidence
In the end, this negative impact of excessive anxiety will reduce self-confidence. You will even think about all the physical shortcomings that you (may) have.
Especially for women, they will pay more attention to every detail of their body shape. Take for example, maybe you become more anxious about the shape of the breast, how the body smells at that time, and so on.
Having a negative body image, even if it is only limited to imagination, can hinder sexual satisfaction during intercourse. As a result, sex only runs like a daily busy life without bathing in satisfaction.
3. Damaging your intimacy and partner
Let alone close emotionally, anxiety and excessive fear will make you not want to make love with your partner physically. Especially if the anxiety disorder that you have has its roots in trauma from physical or sexual violence in the past.
As a result, the body will not respond to all stimuli given so that no arousal arises. In fact, this also has an impact on the refusal to do foreplay or warming so that it actually creates a tense atmosphere in the relationship.
4. Closing openness to what is desired
Being honest with your partner can make your sexual relationship run smoothly. This also makes you both understand each other's willingness to have sex. But on the contrary, you who are overwhelmed with anxiety will make it feel as if you are in danger so that you become more closed to your partner.
This condition is influenced by the hormone adrenaline that flows in the body when anxious. As a result, you will find it difficult to share the desired sex fantasies so that you lose your sexual desire.
5. It becomes difficult to orgasm
Women's sexual response which is strongly influenced by the level of anxiety is difficulty reaching orgasm. Because, anxiety symptoms such as muscle tension and wheezing can extend your time to reach orgasm.
Excessive anxiety can also hinder the effects of lubrication on the sex organs and make the body tighten, even triggering vaginismus. Vaginismus is a sexual dysfunction that makes the pelvic floor muscles and vagina tense and contraction making it difficult for the penetration process. As a result, sex will only leave pain and trauma in women.
How to deal with anxiety before intercourse
Most of the real anxiety can be overcome easily. However, the first thing you have to do is recognize the causes and the extent to which these emotions can affect your sexual life and your partner's.
After that, try to wake up your mood to stay happy and energetic, for example by walking to the park, dancing, or exercising. A study reported on the Cosmopolitan page shows that exercise can relieve the side effects of antidepressants in women, and even potentially restore sexual desire.
If your anxiety is triggered by symptoms of an anxiety disorder, it is better to consult a doctor or psychologist for proper treatment, for example with CBT psychotherapy, medical drugs, or a combination of both.
Engaging in fun activities not only increases happiness and reduces stress, but also makes you and your partner closer. All sexual activities will be far more satisfying if you are both in a happy condition and an improved mood than before.
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