It's natural if you feel sad, angry, or disappointed after being cheated by a partner. But besides making a tenuous relationship, adultery also can unwittingly bring a lot of big changes in yourself.
What has changed from yourself after being cheated by a partner?
Like other important moments in life, such as going up in office or even the death of the closest person, infidelity also changes your life. Whether it's in a better direction, or vice versa.
1. It's hard to believe again
After being cheated on, it must be hard to ask forgiveness for you to try to improve your relationship with him. The pain of being betrayed can make you easily suspicious of all the movements and behavior of your partner at this time because of fear that it will happen again. This is a reasonable reaction.
This statement is also supported by Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a psychotherapist and author of She Comes First. Infidelity, for most people, is a fatal mistake without drugs that can destroy trust.
The more and more severe lies that keep coming out of your partner's mouth to cover up the affair, the more difficult it will be for you to put even the slightest confidence in him. In fact, you can be more hesitant about the future that will have to be fostered together.
2. Your confidence changes
The betrayal done by the person you love most will certainly be a big blow that hurts not to your pride.
After being cheated on, it's not uncommon for people to be negative-minded and find fault with themselves. For example, like, "Am I not good enough /rich /charming /ideal for him so he is looking for someone else?" Or "Is he cheating because I'm not good at cooking? Or because I'm not paying enough attention? " Others may think they are no longer needed or even useful in the eyes of their partners.
Again, all the negative emotions you feel are actually natural. All the tricks he does to deny reality and turn your accusations over long can make you start doubting yourself.
On the other hand, it is not impossible that your confidence will increase even after being cheated on. Not a few victims of infidelity can be reconciled with their partners, and actually feel more confident about the future of the relationship after successfully passing the pain of the affair.
There are also people who are even more confident after catching their partner cheating, because they believe that that person is not the best for them and they deserve to get better.
3. Can focus on other things that are more important
Sad, angry, upset, and frustrated are pure human emotions that are completely normal after being cheated on. But when you continue to be afflicted with negative emotions, this can make it difficult for you to focus on other important aspects of your life. For example, your relationship with a close family or your professional relationship at work.
Sadness from heartbreak can even lead to depression if you are unable to adjust and overcome the disappointment.
On the other hand, not a few people who can accept the bitter reality that the opportunity to live with the cheating man is over. After that, you can begin to prioritize positive things that have never been thought of before, have not been able to do, or have even been banned by him, to rebuild your life.
You can focus more on fixing your personal life and not get caught up in bad thoughts that can backfire for yourself.
4. Commitment is getting stronger
As told by Tina B. Tessina, PhD, as a psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, an affair is a test of life. Depending on how you react, infidelity can actually further strengthen your inner bond and your partner, which will make your relationship more harmonious.
Only you and your partner really understand how to go through the test. If your partner wants to change and promises not to repeat the same mistakes, and you are also willing to forgive and open your heart to accept them again, this might just create a new relationship that is far more intimate.
The key is to be open to each other and find out what is the reason behind the affair in your relationship. From there you and your partner will learn from each other how to build a new relationship that is far better than before.
- Is it really cheating, surely you will cheat again and again?
- Psst, Infidelity There Are Many Types. Do you know what type?
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