Facing a stubborn or rebellious child is certainly not easy for every parent. For example, children are lazy to take a bath, do not want to eat, or run away from the habit of taking a nap. Not a few parents who vent their emotions with anger and surrender with a little tantrum attitude.
In fact, the most effective way to deal with stubborn children is not to get angry or shout at children, but rather to give full attention. How to? Continue reading the following reviews, yes!
Recognize the causes of stubborn and rebellious children
Reporting from Psychology Today, stubbornness is a form of rejection of something that is against his will. Stubborn children, whether they are girls or boys, tend to be very sensitive and cannot be persuaded by those around them. This is because they want the request to be fulfilled immediately.
When a child turns stubborn and likes to fight, it might be because they see the same example. Therefore, you should be careful when acting in front of your little one, because children are very easy to imitate those around them.
In addition, stubborn children tend to seek attention from others. This condition is the same as a tantrum child but in stubborn children more often causes tantrums to get attention.
No need to be angry, the main key is patience
One way to deal with stubborn children is to respond to emotional outbursts. This does not mean you give up on every little request, but instead be firm and show affection for him.
Well, the effective way to deal with stubborn and rebellious children without having to get angry is as follows:
1. Listen to your little one's wishes
Communication with children is the most important thing in facing stubbornness. This communication certainly must be two-way. If you want your child to listen to you, then you also need to listen to it first. Because, stubborn children tend to have strong opinions and love to argue for their wishes to be fulfilled.
Children can turn stubborn if they feel they are no longer heard by others. So, try approaching your little one and listen to what he wants. This will make him feel important and be calmer without fighting.
2. Avoid forcing children
When you tend to force a child to do something, usually the little one will rebel and do what they should not do. This includes in the form of opposition, one of the common characteristics of stubborn children.
Take for example, you force your six-year-old child to stop watching TV and go to sleep. This actually won't help, it will actually trigger resistance from your little one.
Conversely, when you show your attention to what your child is watching, your little one will give a certain response and feel more comfortable. Your child will feel that his parents are giving him attention. According to Susan Stiffelman in her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, building relationships with stubborn children can melt your baby's heart so that it becomes more obedient.
3. Give your little one the choice
Basically, children have their own way of thinking and don't like being told what to do.
Take an example, you tell your little one to sleep while he is watching TV. The answer you might hear is the word "no". This is the same if you give a toy that your little one doesn't like, so the answer might be the same.
To deal with this stubborn child, use special tricks by giving him a choice. For example, when you want your child to sleep and release it from TV, try giving your child a choice of which storybook he will choose to tell before going to bed.
Turn your child's attention with an interesting story of the mouse deer or cucumber mas that he can choose. If your child still refuses, keep calm while repeating the same thing as much as possible.
But remember, you must remain calm and show no emotion. Over time, your child will give up and follow your will.
4. Face calmly
The main key to dealing with stubborn children is to be calm and patient. If you tend to get angry or yell, your attitude will only make things worse and even make your child fight back.
Perform a variety of activities that can help you become more calm, such as meditation, exercise, listening to music, or other activities that can improve your mood. If you like to set music at home, this can also affect your child's mood to be calmer and away from tantrums.
5. Understand your little one's wishes
If you want children to respect their parents, you also need to be able to understand the wishes of your child. Watch your baby's feelings and listen to the brilliant ideas he has. As much as possible, let your child explore his world. But remember, keep an eye on all your little one's activities.
According to Betsy Brown Braun who is a writer of You’re Not The Boss Of Me, children will see and follow what they see. Because of that, say what you want to your little one and invite him to do it with you.
For example, you want your baby to brush his teeth after eating. Well, you need to do the same thing, that is, immediately go to the bathroom to brush your teeth after eating.
6. Invite your little one to work together
Rather than telling your child to do something, it would be better if you invited your child to work together.
Use the words, "let's do it together," or "what if we try it together?" rather than sentences that seem to send. So, try to be a child friend so they feel comfortable.
7. Invite your child to discuss
Sometimes, you need to negotiate or bargain with your little one. Because, this shows that you do not necessarily reject the request of your child, but give consideration that will train him to make good decisions.
Take for example, your child still does not want to sleep even though you have asked well. Well, the right way is not to force him to go to sleep immediately, but by giving consideration.
Ask him when he starts wanting to sleep and ask what the reason is. After that, you can invite him to discuss and determine the hours of sleep that are suitable for you and your little one.
8. Create a pleasant environment at home
Children are good learners. They learn through what they see and experience every day. If they often see their parents fighting, then they will likely emulate it when they grow up.
According to one study, quarreling parents can trigger insecurity and aggression in children. Therefore, create a pleasant environment in the house so that your child feels more calm and comfortable.
Quietness in the home can also make a child's mood more stable, thus reducing stubbornness in children.
9. Understand children's thinking
To deal with a stubborn child, try to understand your child's point of view and way of thinking. Do you know what children feel? Is your child stressed, scared or sad?
The more you know your child, the better the way you deal with your child. For example, if your child doesn't want to do his homework, don't immediately yell and scold the child.
Because, the child may find it difficult to complete the task. As a result, the little one will become irritable and increasingly reluctant to do the job.
Rather than getting angry, help your little one get the job done with you. Slip the rest time for 1 to 2 minutes so that the little one is not too stressful in doing the task.
10. Teach children to behave well
Don't pinch occasionally or treat stubborn children in a rude manner. Because back again, this will be absorbed in his memory and probably will be done in the future.
Therefore, show good behavior in front of your child so that he or she will be nice to you. Give compliments when your little one successfully completes your command.
For example, make a chart and stick a star on it when your child completes the task. In addition, you can also give a certain gift to strengthen your child's positive behavior.
No matter how hard a child's attitude is, believe that you can handle it calmly. Thus, your stubborn child will turn out to be a more disciplined and obedient child.
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