Many people complain that the closest person has a high ego. Or, are you alone who has sky-high egos? Indeed, what is that, ego? Why has a high ego always been associated with negative characters?
Is your ego high?
The easiest way to determine if your ego is playing is to ask one of the following two questions:
- Do I feel superior to others?
- Do I feel inferior to others?
If you answer yes to one of the questions above, it's possible that your ego is taking over your mind.
Ego is a part of your personality
Sigmun Freud, a famous psychologist, once said that human personality consists of three main components: id, ego, and superego. Simply put, the ego is part of the identity that we build ourselves.
All beliefs that you hold firm about principles, aspects of personality, talents, and skills and /or abilities, help build ego. That's why ego is often associated with self-esteem or self-esteem. Ego is a part of yourself that aims to seek approval from people around.
In the end, the ego helps you shape your self image. Self-image is formed when we have an idea of an aspect of ourselves that we also agree with. For example, "I'm not good at math," or "I'm smart," or "Nobody likes me," or "I'm better than you."
By believing in these things, you too slowly reflect the idea in all daily actions so that you do not seem to be very good at math, for example - when in fact, it might not be so.
The ego can be said to be the outermost layer of protection you have built so far. The ego always focuses on the importance of prioritizing oneself and not caring about the reality of others. The ego also plays in your mind, that when a problem occurs, other people are to blame, while you are always in the right position.
That's why sometimes the ego is a sign of a character that is less commendable.
Various ways to control a high ego
Basically the ego is not always negative. Ego can be a positive thing if you know how to control it. Research shows that people who don't put their ego above all are the happiest people.
1. Understand that life is a process
The ego doesn't care about the process. As long as you can get the desired results and far outperform the others, the ego can be satisfied. Unfortunately, following a high ego makes you unable to enjoy life.
The ego will always make you feel like a loser, if you don't succeed in achieving something. For that, overcome your ego by enjoying every process in life and trying your best.
When you instill in mind that life is a journey not a goal, you will realize that that process is far more important than results. In the process we go through various phases of starting to be happy, sad, angry, and other things that can make life far more meaningful. You also can learn from the acid salts of past experiences.
2. Do not torture yourself by thinking "what if" for something that has happened
You have to admit that in life, not everything goes according to your will. There are times, things go the opposite of what you expect and that's the best way that should happen.
Regreting things that have happened and thinking too deeply won't change anything. Your ego will lead to other negative thoughts if you don't control them. Keep in mind that what you want is not always what you need.
3. Don't compare yourself with others
Ego is a desire in yourself to always compare your worthiness with others. If your achievements are not as successful as your next friend, your ego will punish you and make you feel inferior and useless.
If you can't control it, then you just don't respect yourself. Conversely, if in an achievement you succeed and defeat others, your ego will make you believe that you are superior and invincible.
Basically, comparing yourself with other people is okay, as long as it's in a positive context. But you still have to be able to judge yourself subjectively. Every human being is a unique individual and cannot be compared with each other. By not trying to compare yourself with others, you will be more focused on learning to respect yourself.
4. Know your motivation
In doing everything, you have to know what drives you to do that. Ego will force you to be motivated by what will be achieved and mastered, while you usually say the opposite.
You want to do something because you feel you will get valuable learning that is important for your life. Keep in mind, you can always learn from a process even if it doesn't work.
5. Practice to forgive and be sincere
The most effective way to learn to let go of your ego is to be a forgiving person. You must learn to forgive those who hurt you and most importantly learn to forgive yourself. Releasing everything you cannot control becomes a simple way to control the ego.
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