"All your faults! If you follow my words, surely this won't happen. "
"Oh yeah, right, we were going the wrong way. I told you earlier, don't go through here. "
Having a partner who always feels right like that certainly makes you upset and abysmal frustration. How not, you are often cornered and always on the side guilty of all conflicts that occur in your relationship. In fact, you might be right and your partner is wrong.
Occasionally giving up is not a problem to save your relationship. However, if it's been repeated many times, it's good not to stay silent and take action immediately.
Couples who always feel right tend to have a high ego
People who often blame others generally have a high ego. The reason is, he often insists on expressing his own arguments and tries to convince others to think about him.
However, a therapist named Karyl McBride, Ph.D., gives a different view. He revealed to Men Health that people who feel always right actually have a weak ego. Why is that?
When his pride is threatened, he will be confused, panic, and want to look stronger than his opponent. As a result, he tends to blame others so that he is superior and does not look weak in front of his opponent.
This was also reinforced by a recent study by Marta Krajniak and Fairleigh Dickinson. They found that students who had low emotional intelligence tended to experience personality disorders in the form of difficulties to reduce their ego.
So in short, this is done as an effort to protect yourself from insecurity. That is why couples who are always right will press you on and on so that you become insecure and follow all their wishes.
Then how do you deal with a partner who always feels right?
Facing a partner who always feels right is really easy. On the one hand, you can learn to control your ego when facing it, but on the other hand you also have to be able to argue without being carried away by emotion.
Here's how to deal with and make peace with a partner who always feels right.
1. Be calm
The main key in dealing with couples who always feel right is to be calm. Take deep breaths and gently exhale. Control your emotions and reactions even though they are exposed to various accusations from your partner.
Remember, you don't need to reciprocate by insisting that it can make things worse. Instead of solving a problem, this can actually trigger your love relationship.
Give a 10-minute, one-hour, or even whole day time-out to calm down. Once emotions begin to recede, then invite your partner to discuss. Never continue a fight when both are still full of resentment because it must be useless.
2. Communicate with partners
Once you are both calm, communicate the problem with your head cold. You don't need to pressure him to admit wrong, but instead invite him to calmly discuss his argument.
An example like this. Your family's finances suddenly drop dramatically because of the many basic needs that must be met. However, your partner actually blames and accuses you of spending money on things that are not important.
Again, don't pull the vein first, huh. Gently explain the reason and give your partner a proof of your shopping list. Just say the truth if indeed the price of basic commodities is rising so as to cause an overbudget.
Communicate well with your partner and ask to introspect with each other. This is not only able to reduce the partner's ego, but also fosters mutual understanding.
3. Lower the ego
The harmony of relationships depends on how strong you and your partner dampen their egos. If a partner with a high ego is rewarded with a high ego, then this will actually trigger a new conflict and extend the row of problems in your relationship.
So, lower each other's ego and introspection. Even though your partner always feels right, he also has the right to be heard, you know. You also need to be able to understand his point of view before expressing your opinion. By understanding what your partner feels and thinks, it's also younger for you to understand and forgive him.
4. Find a way out together
Finally, try to find a way out together to resolve the conflict. There is no point in looking for who wins or loses. Make a decision that is equally beneficial and a relief to both parties.
Again, don't let the ego win without any solution. Rather than continuing to look for who wins or loses, you should remember the similarities that you both have.
Suppose you both like to watch a movie before going to bed, then do this to help melt the atmosphere. The better your mood and partner, the more easily you will find the right solution to this problem.
Invite your partner to determine how to manage finances so that they don't overbudget. That way, both of you will avoid bickering for the same problem later on.
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