Nothing is happier than when you fall in love. Just for a moment think that finally you have found a life partner that is as lifelong as you have dreamed of, it can be so thrilling. But what happens if you meet someone new and other than him, which also makes you happy? Is it natural to sincerely love two people at once? Or is this just a blinding lust?
As humans, it's natural to love two people (or more) at once
We often assume that attraction to others will disappear once exploring a commitment, whether it's dating or being married. The fact is that interest is a natural human instinct that will continue to exist at any time and is inevitable. This is because when we see other people, the brain will begin processing the visual information that we see and make instant judgments based on one's attractiveness.
This instinct is based on the subconscious impulse of the brains of ancient human heritage that assessed sex as a purely biological activity to reproduce in order to increase its chances of having more offspring in the world and ensure our species survive.
That's why many experts say that loving two or more people isn't impossible. Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., a UCLA psychology professor, even likens love triangles to ice cream. Chocolate and strawberry flavored ice cream tastes different, but it's equally delicious. Add more fun if you can combine it at once, like the taste of Neapolitan ice cream. But of course the love affair is not as easy as choosing an ice cream flavor, right?
Durvasula then added that humans are complex creatures in terms of feelings. You can get inner satisfaction by establishing relationships with intelligent and open-minded people, for example. But on the other hand, you also get its own satisfaction when hanging out with people who are humorous and full of surprises.
Also, loving someone is also 'forcing' you to lower your awareness and be more open - making you able to put aside all criticism and doubt - so you can unite your needs and desires with him.
Interest in other people like this is natural, natural. So it's possible, even if you love two people with different traits at the same time. This is because of the characteristics, personality, and maybe even the physical characteristics between the two people can complement each other what you need in an ideal relationship.
Love is not only about feeling, but also the influence of hormones
When you fall in love, you are under the influence of a hormone game that makes you experience an emotional roller coaster. Reporting from Psychology Today, a team of researchers from the University of Pisa found that in the early stages of a romantic relationship, the activity of the hormone adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin, norepineprine, and phenylethylamine (natural PEA also contained in chocolate and marijuana) mixed and increased arises a sense of mutual attraction between two people, or more. PEA also plays a role in generating a very deep desire to unite with your lover.
Uniquely, during the euphoric phase, the relaxation effect you get from serotonin "good mood" hormones will decrease and be replaced with an obsession with your relationship. So that it is not impossible for you to keep remembering the romantic memories you spent with him. This hormone increase is entirely natural and is beyond your control.
Loving yourself makes it easier for you to love other people
As reported by WomansHealth, when you really love yourself for who you are, you will be more easily open to new people around you. Especially when your life begins to experience changes in a more positive direction, for example when you have got a more established new job or a body that is now healthier and fitter after successfully living a healthy lifestyle.
At this moment you can feel the spark of interest in other people, even if you already have a partner. Sometimes the more you feel comfortable and happy with yourself from the inside out, the easier it will be for you to accept the existence of other people in your life so it's not impossible to fall in love with him.
Can you have two people at once?
Even though it's natural, you certainly can't keep on loving two people at once. Not only will it gradually make you stressed out yourself, "hanging on" the other person's future will also have a negative impact on the quality of your relationship with those around you.
Indeed, there are no certain formulas that can make you steady your heart to choose which one. But all decisions will eventually return to yourself.
Before making a choice, try to understand what you are really looking for and need in a partner. What type of person can you invite to live together, and believe your feelings if the person is right for you to love. Don't rush, let nature select which is best for you.
All choices are risky, but if logic and heart work together to choose each other, you can avoid the worst risks and live happier lives.
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