Many couples want to get pregnant soon after marriage. There are also some couples who want to postpone it first. As a prospective parent, you have a big responsibility to care for and educate your children as well as possible. This is the reason why the decision to get pregnant and have children is a serious decision and should not be done carelessly.
Questions from people around you such as, "When to fill?" or, "When do you have children?" you will often hear after marriage. The more days you ask questions and finally you get bored with this question, finally you and your partner try to get pregnant.
Are these external demands cornering you to have children? You should think again, because having children is not a light matter. Do not let you want to get pregnant for the wrong reasons. Here are the wrong reasons for having children.
1. Parents want you to get pregnant immediately
Your parents may often insist that you get married soon. Then after you get married, parents often give signals so that you immediately get pregnant and have children. However, if you and your partner feel they are not ready mentally or financially, don't hesitate to explain it to parents.
Simply listen to their desires patiently, then explain calmly and politely that you and your partner have their own decisions and ways to form a family. Say, if it's time for you to get pregnant, they will be the first to receive the good news.
2. You are bored and the mind appears to want to get pregnant
You have gone through tense times to a wedding day which is usually filled with busyness and preparation. Now, when there is a lot of time left, you don't know what to do.
So you think, after marriage, the next step is to have children. Even though you haven't thought carefully about the child and what is needed to take care of him. Need careful thinking, mental readiness, and stable financial ability to care for and care for children from the womb until they are large.
3. Fear is infertile
It's true that male and female fertility will decrease with age. However, that does not mean this can be the only reason to quickly have children before your fertile period ends.
The problem is not just age that determines your fertility and your future health. Other factors such as the health conditions of prospective fathers and mothers also play a very important role. For example prospective fathers and mothers are both heavy smokers. It's best to focus first on quitting smoking and working on a healthy lifestyle before joining the pregnant program.
Or the prospective mother has a body weight that is far below the ideal, for example because the body is too thin. Of course it's wiser to improve your diet so that the prospective body weight is ideal for later pregnancies.
All of this is important so that your womb will be healthy and not at high risk of complications. So, don't be in a hurry to have children just for fear of being "pursued by age". You better prioritize physical and mental health first.
4. All friends and relatives of your age have children
Just because your friends or relatives your age have children, it doesn't mean that you have the time to have children.
There are a lot of things you have to think about like caring for a child. There are more important things to consider when taking care of children, because the presence of a child will change your life.
Need answers to questions; who will stay and care for the child? Can you deal with the increasing need for life? Do you and your partner agree with how to educate and care for children?
In essence, to be a good parent, you must be really mature in making decisions. Not because friends have cradled babies and look happy, you also have to be like them and want to get pregnant quickly.
5. Having children will solve the problem
Establishing and building a marriage relationship with a partner is difficult enough. When you and your partner face a problem that is quite complicated, don't then think that having children will solve the problem.
Being a parent is not always full of fun and joyful things. So don't make a wrong decision and expect that the presence of children will solve the problem between you and your partner and save your married life.
Try to think about what can be improved from your relationship, and remember what things united you and him at the beginning of the relationship. After that successfully glue you and your partner, prepare the room for the arrival of your little one.
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