You must be upset if your child behaves when you advise him, whether it's by arguing, playing a cellphone, or the most annoying is leaving you. There's a child's behavior when you try to advise him. Before you just become upset and angry, find out first what causes your child to not listen to babbling or scolding parents.
Why do children not like listening to parents' scolding?
If your child doesn't listen to you, don't blame anyone. Nothing is wrong. Be it a child, partner, child friends, or yourself. According to Deborah MacNamara, Ph.D., a child counselor from Canada, refused, resisted and opposed was human nature. Especially if you feel controlled and forced to do something. This expert opinion was quoted from Huffington Post Canada.
Not only children, you may feel the same way when someone dictates to you about what you have to think, do, or feel. It feels bad when someone is organizing your life, right? The challenge for parents is that children have not reached maturity to understand why you are nagging so children are more vulnerable to reactions in the form of resistance.
In addition to resistance, why is it hard for children to listen to parents' words?
You may often wonder what is wrong with you or your child to the point that it is so difficult for him to listen and listen to the words of his parents. So that you better understand the contents of your child's mind and be able to communicate with children more effectively, see the following five main reasons.
1. Parental nagging is usually too long and convoluted
When you try to advise a child with a long scolding, the child will lose focus in the middle. This is because children's attention span is indeed short, unlike adults who are able to listen to lecturers' lectures for hours, for example. So, the child can forget what your conversation actually meant so he will most likely repeat the same mistakes.
Diomeli parents also make children feel that parents do not care about their opinions or conditions, because parents only want to talk continuously without listening to him.
The solution, rebuke the child with solid, clear, and short sentences. There are times when you have to talk at length with your child about problems that are rather heavy. However, this must also be done in an atmosphere that supports and in an interesting way so that children do not easily lose focus.
2. Talking tone or words chosen by parents are not right
Do you often scold children with high pitches? Occasionally speaking in a high tone to discipline a child is natural. However, if you always do this repeatedly and your scolding is too long, after a long time the child can not stand to hear it too.
Meanwhile, if you have mostly used negative words like "do not", "not allowed", and "prohibited", children will be confused about what to do because parents can only prohibit, not give direction. Likewise, if parents nag children with humble harsh words, for example, calling children "stupid".
Instead, affirm your command with clear directions and in a low-pitched tone like, "Sister, put your bag in the room now." Don't just nag by saying, "Don't put the bag in there, please!" A mess! Must be told how many times, you? " If the child has not moved too, you can emphasize again with a sentence like, "Mother count to three, your bag must be put in the room."
3. Accustomed to threatening or yelling at children
Be careful if parents threaten or shout at children too often. Children who are used to being told loudly tend to ignore parents when they do not speak in an ordinary tone. As a result, you must always pull the veins first if you want the child to listen to parents' scolding.
Therefore, change this habit slowly. Speak in a voice that is slightly soft but still firm.
4. Grumble while doing other things
If you feel your child is not listening to advice, try making sure that you and your child are not busy doing anything else. Often you talk without getting their attention first, so they won't listen to what you say.
If you want your child to listen to your parents' words, speak in private. Don't talk while washing dishes, playing cellphones, and so on. Ranting while doing other things will make the child ignore the scolding of parents.
5. Parents do not give an example
Children will follow the behavior of their parents. Yes, children secretly always pay attention to their parents' actions as a measure of acceptable behavior or not. Therefore, if parents do not provide good examples such as how to listen and respect others, the child will imitate.
For example, your partner is raving about something. Instead of listening well and finding a solution, you are instead busy doing other things while continuing to defend yourself. This habit will be imitated by the child when one day you nag at him.
So, be a good example for children. When the child is grumbling at length, invite the child to sit down together and talk about sitting down the problem well. Over time the child will learn how to behave when having conflicts with other people.
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