After the death of a loved one, there will be many people coming and going to mourn and express condolences. They will also try to accompany and entertain you so that you are not sad anymore. But not infrequently, the arrival of mourners who are nonstop actually beats so you are confused what to do. So, how do you deal with your relatives who are visiting when you are grieving?
Tips for dealing with people who come mourning while you are grieving
1. You have the right to request time for yourself
Right now you might prefer to withdraw for a moment and don't want to talk to anyone. This is a natural thing. However, you still need to take time for yourself to reflect and try to pass away the deceased's departure.
Asking for a time out is natural, even highly recommended, so you don't need to feel uncomfortable. This does not necessarily make you a selfish person. The reason is that you are the most affected by the departure of the deceased and you yourself are the ones who understand the best way to accept this fact.
In order for you to recover properly, you must acknowledge the pain, and this can only be achieved when you have time to be alone. Face sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, or loneliness, and remind yourself that these mixed emotions are normal following a sense of loss.
If you remember your loved ones and cry, you feel much better, then you can continue to feel much better. Everyone has different ways of grieving.
2. No need to disclose information in detail
Death is a phenomenon that often invites many questions. People may ask what is the cause, when it happened, how the last condition, to a number of other questions that seem very personal and make it uncomfortable.
As the closest person or family member of the deceased, you are not obliged to answer all the questions that are too detailed if you object.
On the other hand, you can ask these people to pray rather than scrutinize things that you yourself find difficult /reluctant to answer. Other people should understand your condition as a grieving party.
3. Ask them to stop discussing their deaths
Sometimes, some people do not understand the importance of empathy for others by continuing to ask questions and discuss the deceased's departure. Maybe out of curiosity or on the basis of concern.
But if their "attention" is actually annoying, you have the right to close your eyes and ears and ask them to stop doing it. If not, this is likely to re-open the wound that is still fresh. You will again be immersed in sadness and stress that seems endless.
Prioritizing your physical and mental well-being in the most fragile moments like now is an important key to being able to move on. Especially so that you can get well, you need to take care of yourself in these times. This means you have to rest a lot, just eat and drink, and reduce your activities as much as possible.
4. Don't suppress your emotions
Although sometimes someone else's presence can be annoying to you who are in a frenzy, you still need their help and support.
After a long period of solitude, it doesn't hurt to invite 1-2 of the closest people you trust the most to cry, pour out your heart's content, or just drive away lonely. Embracing emotions will actually turn your health into a danger.
If you still feel difficult to tell others, try to keep emotion out in different ways. Focusing on good memories during your late life can help overcome your loss. For example by opening a photo album, writing a diary containing the story of your life with him, to listening to songs that are memories for you and your loved ones.
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