When you get married, sex always feels exciting and challenging. Maybe just seeing a partner can arouse your desire. However, over time sex drive can decrease so that husband and wife relationships can feel no longer satisfying. Wow, does this mean the fire of your romance with a partner already extinguished? Or is this a natural thing? Find out the answer below.
Sexual passion is still there, but not satisfied after having sex with a partner
Unsatisfactory sex is not necessarily a sign that you both don't love each other anymore. In fact, according to a social psychologist as well as researchers from the University of Toronto in Canada, Jessica Maxwell, Ph.D., it's only natural that a couple's sex drive fades after two to three years of marriage.
This does not mean you will lose interest in making love forever, you know. You may still have a high libido or sexual appetite. However, after having sex with a partner, you can no longer get satisfaction like the first time. You feel as if you are still responsible or something is lacking. Because it does not get satisfaction, you can just "run" to porn or masturbate.
Furthermore, Jessica explained that basically sexual pleasure requires effort and hard work from both parties. Meanwhile, many people mistakenly assume that as long as they love each other, then sex will automatically feel exciting.
The cause of the husband and wife relationship does not feel as satisfying as before
Yes, sex life must always be fought for, it cannot be ignored but you hope to get satisfaction. Unfortunately, the things below can be a barrier or cause the husband and wife relationship feels bland.
1. You and your partner lack communication
The quality of your husband and wife relationship can be measured by how well you communicate with your partner. Household relations that are not communicative, dishonest, and not intimate can cause a couple's sex life to be unsatisfactory.
2. One pair is busy
It is undeniable that intense activity makes you tired and wants to go to sleep at night. It's different from the past, for example, when you were just married and you were willing to go home quickly together with your partner.
3. Bored with just that sex
If you don't add new spices, the couples' sex life will be tasteless for a long time. Sex becomes just a routine, not as a place to get closer. As a result, you might be more happy looking for more challenging entertainment, such as watching porn videos where the stars always try new actions.
How to generate sex life with a partner
1. Talk to your partner
Initially you might not be used to talking about sex with a partner. However, a strong household and intimate relationship starts with openness, mutual trust, and a willingness to compromise. This also applies to partner sex life.
If you are bored, tell your partner what makes you bored. Don't just say, "I'm lazy. Later, yes. "You can try saying," Honey, I always wanted to try a cowgirl position. You're interested, aren't you? Let's try, let's. Later, if you don't like it, it doesn't need to be continued, really. "
2. Complete the problem at hand
If your partner is having a fight or you are secretly harboring disappointment with your partner, sex won't feel good. Therefore, it is better to finish first and communicate well the problem at hand. Find a solution together. Only after that you can focus entirely on the affairs of making love.
3. Remember and reload when sex feels really satisfying
Remember and repeat the scene when you and your partner experience pleasant sex can be a solution. Try to remember, what you did before having great sex with your partner. For example what clothes you wear, what music accompanies your love story, and what makes you and your partner fall in love at that time.
You can also bring back those memorable moments. For example, by going on vacation to your honeymoon at that time or making love while listening to the song played on your wedding day.
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